Saturday, 24 October 2026

Lost Property


The previous post's mention of Dante Gabriel Rossetti (not to mention the inescapable imminence of effin' Hallowe'en) reminded me of a notable biographical detail in the life of this solidly second-rate Victorian poet and serial painter of curiously similar-looking women. In case you were unaware of this, shall we say, unusual event, I have summarised it from Wikipedia thusly:

In 1849 or 1850, Rossetti met Elizabeth Siddal, who had entered the Pre-Raphaelite circle after being noticed by Walter Deverell while working in a milliner's in Leicester Square. Over the next decade, Siddall became Rossetti's muse and pupil, and after 1851, modelled exclusively for him. The couple were married in 1860 after a long engagement, during which Rossetti was serially unfaithful, and Siddal became addicted to laudanum. In 1862, Siddall died of an overdose of laudanum, shortly after giving birth to a stillborn child. After her death Rossetti became increasingly depressed, and when Elizabeth was buried at Highgate Cemetery, he interred the bulk of his unpublished poems with her. In later years Rossetti was prevailed upon by friends, in particular Charles Augustus Howell, to exhume his poems from his wife's grave. In 1869 he did so, collating and publishing them in 1870 in the volume Poems by D. G. Rossetti. The collection included some translations, such as his "Ballad Of Dead Ladies", an 1869 translation of François Villon's poem "Ballade des dames du temps jadis".

A number of comments suggest themselves. Let's bullet-point them:

  • Do the maths: 1862 to 1869... Eek. Enough said.
  • Surely it would have occurred to any idiot to make some copies before committing this histrionic gesture? Clearly not.
  • Before doing something even more crazy, Gabriel, you might have considered the possibility that your so-called friends might just have been winding you up. [1]
  • Laudanum... Just say no. See also absinthe.
  • "Ballad of Dead Ladies"? You're kidding, right, Gabe? What, you're Bertolt Brecht now?
  • Generally speaking, it seems best to stay well away from any involvement with poets and painters. It never seems to end well. "Scenius"? Steer clear...
I think I'm speaking for every sane person reading this blog – obviously, there are a few lunatics out there – when I say that most of us would regard any such "stuff stashed in a coffin" situation – maybe some extremely valuable keepsake or heirloom – as irreversible. Damn, I wish I hadn't done that, but what can I do about it now? Nothing, obviously. To request an exhumation – seven years later – would not (I trust) even cross your mind as a possibility. No, you'll just have to leave that Rolex for the detectorists of the future.

Which is probably why most of us are not even within shouting distance of ever achieving fame as a second- or even third-rate anything. Our names will never trouble the biographies of our more prominent contemporaries, even as a footnote to a footnote. Sane people lack the extremity of motivation that brushes off bad reviews, repeated rejection, impoverishment, personal tragedy, or any other sort of obstacle that a halfway-normal person will stand before, shrug, and say, "Oh, well! It was never meant to be. Better recalibrate and get a proper job..."

Whereas the crazy, narcissistic types simply say, "Fetch me a spade, a crowbar, a ladder, and some bolt cutters... This is very fucking far from over!"

It's in there? Not a problem, more of a challenge...

1.  A dialogue:
DGR: So I finally did what you said. I've got all those poems back now.
CAH: You did what? You mean the ones in Lizzie's grave? No way, man! Jesus H. Christ! Say you're kidding me!
DGR: No, really: they're at the dry cleaners just now, though. What a mess...
CAH: I can't believe you're serious... That's... insane...
DGR: Insane? But it was your idea! You guys kept going on about it, and I finally saw it made perfect sense!
CAH: We were winding you up, mate! We all enjoyed the look on your face whenever the subject came up, that was all...
DGR: Well, I've done it now, and I'm glad. Some of the bits I could still make out through the, uh, residue were pretty good.
CAH: What can I say, Gabe? You're a legend, mate.
In actual fact, though, it was CAH (Charles Augustus Howell ) himself who arranged the exhumation. Howell (a.k.a. "Owl") was a rogue with a reputation for blackmail, a manipulative art dealer and "business manager" who insinuated himself into the affairs of several prominent figures – Ruskin, Swinburne, and Whistler, for example – and whose life of lies and extortion and extraordinary death (go on, follow the link to Wikipedia) seem to have been rather more interesting than most. There was a biography by Helen Rossetti Angeli published in 1954 (Pre-Raphaelite Twilight, which Evelyn Waugh reviewed in The Spectator with the enticing title "A Mid-Victorian Spiv"), but I suspect a fresh, properly-researched biography is long overdue. His story would also make a cracking caper-cum-costume-drama film, with colourful touches of "body horror"... Or – here's a thought – how about a musical? The songs practically write themselves!
Mr. Rossetti
Do not forgetti
I am the man
Who's got a plan
For your sonnetti!
Yo, Lloyd-Webber, get your people to talk to my people.

Monday, 19 October 2026

October Light



                Know'st thou not at the fall of the leaf
                How the heart feels a languid grief
                Laid on it for a covering,
                And how sleep seems a goodly thing
                In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?


                And how the swift beat of the brain
                Falters because it is in vain,
                In Autumn at the fall of the leaf
                Knowest thou not? and how the chief
                Of joys seems—not to suffer pain?

                Know'st thou not at the fall of the leaf
                How the soul feels like a dried sheaf
                Bound up at length for harvesting,
                And how death seems a comely thing
                In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?

                Autumn Song, by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Jesus Christ, Dan, ain't you got something a bit more cheery to sing? I told you to lay off that laudanum shit, it's not doing you any good at all. And what's with the "knowest thou" stuff, man? It's 1848, not 1648! Besides, that rhyme scheme is just stupid. Gimme that guitar!

Think I may have to stab him with this fork...
(Thomas Eakins, Home Ranch)

It's hard to believe that I was once signed up, full grant and all, to spend three precious youthful years, 1976-79, researching the maudlin mock-mediaeval ramblings of the so-called, self-styled Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. A narrow escape, and it was all really only due to one poem, "The Burden of Nineveh", as described in this post from 2010. I remember that at the time I was also convinced that Duke Luke – the name of the villain in a truly silly Rossetti poem, "The Staff and Scrip" – would make a great name for a rock band, and I see some Lithuanian dude has since made off with it. You're welcome! And no, I have never watched The Dukes of Hazzard, featuring Luke Duke, first broadcast in 1979, apparently. I wonder if the show's writers had also been reading Rossetti? Somehow I doubt it.

Psycho-Raphaelite in the V & A

Tuesday, 13 October 2026

Poster-Books



I've written about the sticky, solvent-scented joys of model-building before (e.g. see the post Regifted). Like many of us who enjoyed making models when we were kids and who may well have rediscovered that pleasure with our own children, I'm sure, I often found that contemplating a kit in its pristine, unmade state was in many ways the peak experience, a useful early lesson in the way that so many of life's keenest pleasures are as much about anticipation as fulfilment.

As a visually-oriented person, I always responded with a special interest to the ancillary design aspects of a model: the box art, the instructions with their "exploded" views, the sheet of transfers ("decals"), and so on. This was particularly the case with the sort of paper-engineering model where you have to cut out and assemble the constituent pieces, all printed on a single sheet of card alongside the instructions and other descriptive matter. It was always with a certain reluctance that I finally took up the scissors. There were cottages, castles, and theatres with a cast of cut-out characters, but the best were the life-sized versions of birds in flight made by BirdMobile which, cut out and assembled with appropriate care, were uncannily convincing, and also provided a useful early opportunity to instruct children in the safe use of sharp knives, scissors, glue, and so on.


So a few years ago, I amused myself by designing some little concertina-style booklets that imitated the look of paper engineering and could, in theory, be cut out and assembled, but were really intended as 2D wall-pieces, a sort of book in the form of a poster. Then, having admired variations on the palm-leaf book at an exhibition on Buddhism at the British Library, I started making my own "bar" books that then evolved into a style in its own right. No-one else seemed terribly turned on by these efforts, however, and that burst of cut 'n' paste creativity lapsed.

Summer grasses: /  Traces of dreams / Of ancient warriors
(Matsuo Basho)

Recently, however, Blurb have been bombarding me with special offers – never a good sign of company health, IMHO – culminating in a two-day-only "50% off + free postage" offer, which seemed too good to pass up. I had been thinking it was about time I put a new book together, so – although there are several other, but more time-consuming alternative projects waiting to be made into a book – I settled on simply putting a selection of Bars & Poster-Books into a large (30cm) square book. You can see a preview of it here in my Blurb bookstore:


Or, as usual, in the form of a much higher-quality PDF flip-book at Issuu:

It will be a great shame if the business model of Blurb is no longer working out. Each time I launch a new Blurb book into the world, it strikes me that most people – even the genial and well-informed folk who are the readers of this blog – do not understand what makes an on-demand self-publishing service different from other publishing services, and why it is such a brilliant idea. So I thought now might be a good time to repeat a few words from a previous post:

The basic Blurb model is this:
  • You sign up for an account. This costs nothing. You get a personal "bookstore" where your publicly-available books will be displayed for sale, plus various administrative tools.
  • You download some free book-making software onto your computer, BookWright, which is regularly updated. There is also an online book-creation tool for really simple stuff, or at the other extreme you can design your own complete PDF file in something like Adobe InDesign and upload it.
  • You choose a size and binding style for your book, and either use a ready-made "look", or assemble your own from page-templates which enable you to choose combinations and placement of text and image, plus essential features like page numbering.
  • You insert your text and images. Images need to be 300 dpi JPEGs or PNGs. Text can be typed in directly, cut and pasted, or uploaded from a text file. The book will sit on your own computer to be tinkered with for as long as you like.
  • When it's complete and free of errors (and you need to be very sure about that) you upload the book to Blurb.
  • To keep it there, you have to buy one copy, at basic production cost. Now, this is the point at which most people who have never tried self-publication before balk. Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty pounds? Plus postage? For one copy?? But that is not a rip-off, that is a bargain. Why?
  • Here's the thing: you yourself need never buy another copy. Repeat: you need never buy another copy.
Once it's uploaded you can invite people to buy it, privately, or open it for sale as an item listed in your personal bookstore, available in whatever formats you choose, and at the prices you decide. There are also various free tailored publicity tools available for insertion into social media, your blog or webpage, wherever. But here's the really important thing: you hold no inventory at all, and every copy that a customer buys is made on demand by Blurb, who handle the whole transaction, from payment to delivery. Any profit you have added onto the basic production cost will be passed on to you by Blurb, provided it exceeds a certain accumulated monthly total, currently £12.50. If it doesn't, it's rolled over into the next month. [1]

So your book is out there and easily available – you can even sell it on Amazon, something I have never tried – and you will not have paid a ton of money up front to a printer for a quantity of books you will never be able to distribute or sell, and which will sit unsold in boxes under your bed and in your closet, your loft, and probably also your garage forever like a bad dream. Have you ever seen a "small" run of 500 copies of a hardback book? I have (thankfully not one of mine), and you should be very afraid. Worse, if you intend to go down the classic self-publication route more than once, the only certainty is that you're going to need a bigger house. Plus a willingness to write off many thousands of pounds, all for the sake of a vanity project. [2]

The really big plus of on-demand publishers like Blurb, I think, is that the relatively low cost of entry (and the zero cost of failing to sell any copies) means that producing new books regularly is not just feasible, it is addictive. And, if you're serious about your writing, or your photography, or your recipes, or whatever it is you do, there is no better creative discipline than imagining, editing, and sequencing a book. Plus you will have a permanent, compact, and convenient record of your work, which is far more likely to survive the coming decades than boxes of prints or ephemeral image files. Best of all, it's the sort of fun, self-motivating challenge that can shift your work into a higher gear.

But you should never imagine that you might sell more than, say, 10 copies. Dream on! Also, although their stats will tell you how many copies of your books have been sold in the last 45 days (none at all, usually), Blurb will not disclose the name, email, or location of anyone who does buy a copy, so gratitude from you, the author, to your tiny group of fans has to be taken for granted. But then, Lee Child doesn't send a thank-you note to everyone who buys his books, so why should you?

So who is this "Mike Chisholm", anyway?

1. I suspect that a significant flaw in the Blurb model, from a profitability p-o-v, is that (a) few people who make Blurb books are interested in buying the books of other Blurb users, and (b) habitual book buyers are unlikely to be looking at Blurb as a primary source. I'm pretty generous in my own book-buying, but have only ever bought four Blurb books other than my own.

2. The dirty secret of "real" photo-book publishing is that you will be expected by the publisher to cover anything between 50% and 100% of the cost of publication. Sure, your book will get a certain amount of publicity and distribution, but sales and profits will still be low. It's really just a way of taking vanity to the next level.

Wednesday, 7 October 2026

Classic

 Now that I've been writing these blog posts for a while – 18 years, actually, which is rather more than "a while" – there are quite a few that, if I were to write them now, I might well do differently. I've learned a lot about myself and my views by thinking about me and them out loud in public, as it were, and no doubt my ability to write has improved along the way, too. So at moments like this, in a (hopefully brief) post-viral lassitude when fresh subject matter seems elusive, I find it a useful exercise to excavate posts that are more than a few years old and polish them up to 2026 specifications.


This one is a substantially revised version of something I first posted in 2016, and which was subsequently published in the online magazine "On Landscape", where it kicked up a certain amount of unrest (no, that's not a misspelling of "interest"), even provoking a written response from Mr. Landscape himself, Joe Cornish. [1] Well, you just know when you're doing something right... I don't think my views have changed much, but they have softened, and I do think I can make a better job now of expressing them. So here we go.

Southampton Mayflower Park Pier

So let's say I'm reading the review section of the Guardian newspaper one Saturday and above a review of Yuki Chan in Brontë Country, a novel by Mick Jackson, there's a photograph of what I suppose has to be the North York Moors, given the context. Even printed small on newsprint it's striking: a long vista over a craggy moor, alive with the russet and green tones of moorland in scudding sunlight. You can practically feel the wind tugging at your clothing. In the mid-distance there's a crag that could be a house, or a house that could be a crag. So I look to see who the photographer is; to do this I have to turn the paper sideways and squint at the tiny picture credit at the bottom right-hand edge of the page. It reads ALAMY. Nothing else. It seems this beautiful image has been sourced, merely for illustrative purposes, uncredited from a stock photo agency.

Later, looking through Landmark, an intelligent and interesting anthology of contemporary landscape work compiled by William A. Ewing (Thames & Hudson, 2014), I found myself wondering: is landscape photography over, finished with, exhausted?

In one sense, clearly not: more and more people are producing more and more landscape photographs, and this major photographic genre has also become an important ancillary to other activities, such as walking, climbing, travelling, and even the pursuit of spirituality and mental health. But... Sheer populousness is generally a sign that something has peaked, and that its exciting, pioneering days are over. Now that it has become necessary to arrange an orderly queue to the summit of Everest, you can be forgiven for suspecting that the challenge is not quite what once it was.

Once doubts had begun to creep in, other questions followed. Given how varied the world is, and how different people are, I asked myself: why do so many landscape photographs look exactly the same? And why are they so unregarded? To the extent that they can be bought by the yard from an agency, and published uncredited as decorative filler in a newspaper?

Southampton Mayflower Park

There is no denying that landscape photography has become very popular, of  course; both to do, and to look at. I would think no other self-consciously "artistic" genre of photography is so widespread, with the exceptions of fashion and food. Since the advent of digital colour, there has been a tsunami / avalanche / deluge / (pick your own landscape-related simile) of outstanding landscape images of every conceivable kind. From the highest, snowiest peaks to the grimmest, most litter-strewn edgelands, someone will have parked a high-resolution camera on a tripod and composed something that is, for however brief a moment, compellingly new.

Brief, because originality is inevitably followed by hundreds of "me too" imitators, few of whom will have improved on the pioneering work, a cycle of discovery and repetition that is repeated again and again until pretty much every accessible landscape has been photographed many times over, at every time of day, in every kind of weather, leading to a queasy sense of repletion. I mean, just enter "skye storr" into Google, and scroll through the images. Depressing, isn't it? Travel has become cheap and easy, the world is finite, and so are the places to stand and admire its beauty. Even the relatively recent novelty of aerial drone photography has worn pretty thin surprisingly quickly; it has already become just the same-old same-old, following that same cycle of discovery and copy-cat repetition ad nauseam.

When it comes to art, democratic inclusiveness has never really been a useful evaluative benchmark. Art is an essentially elitist pursuit. Or rather, it is when it comes to art as outcome. If instead we choose to regard art-making as an activity which, regardless of the quality of the outcome, is capable of refining and advancing our aesthetic, social, and spiritual instincts and impulses, then clearly it's something which as many people as possible should be encouraged to do. Yes, get out there with your brushes, paints, cameras, sketchbooks, whatever turns you on, and just do it, in the same participative spirit that animates sport and exercise, whereby millions do yoga or zumba, play football or tennis, walk, cycle, and jog; why, you can even train for a marathon if you're the goal-oriented sort. Of course! But the gold standard of anything is always about outcome. Of 60,000 participants, who will actually win the London Marathon? Will they have broken a record?

Bristol Sea Mills after flooding

So how has the predictable same-old-sameness of what has come to count as "gold standard" landscape photography come about? For a start, I don't think it's a false impression that very many, if not most landscape photographers seem to share an identity: male, middle-aged, bearded, a bit weather-beaten and scruffy, and fond of solitary pursuits. But then, these do tend to be the sort of people who find themselves out in the world at dawn or at dusk, having endured rain and cold or heat and thirst to lug many pounds of expensive kit into the wilderness, just for the prospect of a decent photograph. Plus, in what is still a very "gendered" world, landscape photography is one of few outlets for masculine self-expression that combines nicely with physical engagement with the outdoors and that very male obsession with gear and craft. In the end, although there are many people who like to look at landscape photographs – they do make a nice calendar – there are far fewer who are prepared to go out there and get actual landscape all over their shoes and clothes in order to make them.

So perhaps landscape photographs look so similar simply because the people making them are so similar? Might encouraging more, different demographics to want to get "out there" make a difference? Would they end up in different places, with different gear, and with a different point of view? It's certainly a thought. But that initial desire to go out and play in the wind, rain, and mud is both a crucial motivating factor and the main barrier to entry, obviously. Provided, of course, that your definition of "landscape" is restricted to picturesque and remote semi-wilderness. Other vistas are available.

One way to get past the saturation point of sameness is gimmickry. Some landscapists have managed to break free of photo-purist objections to digital manipulation, as well as the slightly bonkers obsession with sunrises and sunsets, and various other hidebound "camera club" traditions relating to landscape photography; the exclusive use of wide-angle lenses, for example. But these newer approaches still have a tendency to converge on well-worn paths, on certain "looks". On a visit to our local hospital I was struck by a row of impressionistic landscape prints running down one corridor. These are now quite old – probably lithographs made in the 1980s – but they have more than a slight resemblance to a lot of "new" landscape photography being done, for example, with the use of overlaid texture layers in Photoshop, or in-camera effects like multiple exposures or ICM ("intentional camera movement", a name I always find hilarious). Scratchy, spattered, blotchy, blurry, painterly: these are well-established clichés of art-school print-making, and no less of a cliché when achieved by new means or arrived at by a different evolutionary pictorial path. As with the law, ignorance of art history is no excuse if your ambition is to be taken seriously as an artist. Too many photographers only follow photography.

Southampton Common, Cemetery Lake

Sadly, getting somewhere new in picture-making is even harder than finding somewhere new in the landscape to photograph, and really has everything to do with developing a strong personal sensibility and very little to do with technique. You can joggle your camera all you like, but it is no substitute for the unique choices made by a visually-educated eye. Typically, landscape photography – despite the way it attracts the word "romantic" to itself – is actually rather classical at heart, in the sense that it is largely about the imitation of established models and masters, and thus has a tendency to produce "school of" works. It never ceases to amaze me, for example, how many Michael Kenna tribute acts there are at work out there, shamelessly reproducing his signature moves with long exposures, trees, fences, and snow. Hey, what's the big deal? I can do that, too! (Yes, you can, now...).

Like 19th century academic painting, conventional gold-standard landscape photography is polished, highly-wrought, rather rule-bound, and suffused by a strong tendency to idealize. A truly dedicated landscape photographer doesn't simply document what happened to be there when they happened to be there, the way you or I might, but studies the times of sunrise and moonrise, waits for the right weather and time of day, and thinks nothing of revisiting the same remote site on multiple occasions until conditions are just right. Just right, that is, to invest a photograph of a landscape with certain supplementary properties, which can be summed up with one word: wow. But, inevitably, photographs of such rarely-observed syzygies in which all the elements are in perfectly picturesque alignment are by definition a freak, a distortion of reality, especially when amplifed by a taste for over-saturated colours and apocalyptic skies.

Have another look at those images of the Old Man of Storr, for example: exactly what planet were they made on? Clearly, there is a landscape photography "look" that is rather different from the appearance of any actual landscape, and it is this look that wannabe landscape photographers aspire to, not least because it wins competitions; even ones that claim to be looking beyond the usual overcooked clichés, like the Natural Landscape Photography Awards. I discussed this at length in my post about the results of the first NLPA competition in 2021 (Extreme Locations & Iconic Conditions), so I won't repeat what I wrote there, other than to say this: "An unfortunate side-effect of all competitions is that the virtues perceived and admired by the judges in their chosen winners tend to be noted and imitated by the thousands of aspirants seeking the validation of a competition win, or in pursuit of more social media 'likes'. Hey, look, I can do that, too!". (Yes, you can, now...).

Southampton Holyrood Church

Then there is that question of the lack of regard for and the disposability of landscape photographs, as exemplified by their uncredited use as illustrative filler in a newspaper review. Need an illustration of "Brontë Country"? A search on the stock photo agency Alamy for "bronte country" yields over 5,000 images; "north york moors" 25,000. Phew... But that one there will do nicely; no, it doesn't matter who made it, just pay the fee and credit the agency. I'm reminded of the discovery of Japanese woodblock prints by European artists in the 19th century, little enough regarded in Japan that they were used as packing in crates of exported porcelain. In Europe it didn't matter that the individual signatures couldn't be read, and a Hiroshige print distinguished from one by Hokusai; what mattered was that exciting "japoniste" look they shared, and which offered a stimulating way forward from the conventions of academic painting.

Of course, the pursuit of originality of vision, individual renown, exhibitions, and publication is an inherently quixotic enterprise, these being goals that few are ever likely to achieve, especially using an essentially anonymous technique like photography in a field as overpopulated as landscape. Besides, an imitative classicism does have its own well-defined, achievable satisfactions and, like running the London Marathon, the training, the participation, and the receipt of the equivalent of a "finisher's" medal – having your work accepted into a stock photo agency, perhaps? – can be reward enough. Ten years of innocence and experience on from my original combative post, I feel less inclined to be dismissive of such realisable ambitions.

In the end, it's no surprise that one competent photographer's rendering of classic subject matter in the classic landscape photography manner – whether it be (yawn) a stand of receding birch-tree trunks, or the Old Man of Storr, or Tuscan hillsides in raking sunlight, or Provençal lavender fields, or (zzzz) autumn leaves, or mountain tops catching the sunrise, etc., etc. – will be pretty indistinguishable from any other's. For all the effort that will have gone into getting the shot, however spectacular and hard-won, the result is generally just one more ephemeral, calendar-quality piece of eye-candy, a picture that has little to say beyond bearing witness to the undeniable fact that – despite humanity's best efforts to trash the place, and nature's escalating attempts to burn us out – in certain combinations of lighting, weather, and time of day some parts of the world can still be very beautiful indeed. In a word: wow. The photographer – whose name you may never even discover – has spared you the effort of trekking out there yourself, and the probable disappointment of seeing the place in a less than flattering light.

Something which, as I say, I'm less inclined to disparage today than I was a decade ago. I'm probably still incurably quixotico-romantic in outlook, but perhaps the older Goethe wasn't so far off the mark when he declared "I call the classical health and the romantic sickness" (Conversations with Eckermann, April 2 1829), although I think what he really meant was that he called the healthy classical, and the sickly romantic. Whatever, I doubt that he had envisioned that the end purpose of a "healthy" strategy would be to dump one's lookalike work into a tank into which anyone could dip their bucket for a small fee, or indeed one in which AI could splash about "training" itself, absolutely free of charge.

So, to return to my original question: is landscape photography over, finished with, exhausted? No, not yet, but like me it is very tired, and could do with a holiday and a change of scene...

Winchester, bridge near Hockley Viaduct

1. A joke I was once told:

A: You know what would improve that landscape shot?
B: No, what?
A: A JCB in the foreground...
B: What, a big yellow digger? Are you mad?
A: No, not a digger, a Joe Cornish Boulder.

Needless to say, I had removed this joke from the version published in "On Landscape"...