Sunday 17 December 2023

It's All About The Children


One of the (many) things that irritate me about Christmas is the way bloggers, journalists, sub-editors – really, pretty much anyone writing for public consumption – start to reach for the tired seasonal clichés, the written-word equivalent of sprinkling fake snow over everything, or wearing an ironic Santa cap all day at work. You know the ones: 'Tis the season... The most wonderful time of the year... Winter wonderland... I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... Have yourself a merry little Christmas... I wish it could be Christmas every day... Sleigh bells in the snow... Simply having a wonderful retch in the snow...

I gave that last one a twist, but I'm sure you'll know the song I mean. From a writer's point-of-view that's the usefulness of expressions that are sufficiently well-established in the public mind (or "memes", if you insist): it gives you something to play around with. In fact, all of those I mentioned have been derived from the opportunistic songs that play on a loop in most stores from November to New Year. I'm amazed the shop-workers' unions haven't taken action on mental health and safety grounds... "It's CREEES-muss!!" shrieks Noddy Holder for the tenth time that morning; "Oh no it's bloody not, it's still only November," groan the till operators and shelf-stackers. The fact that so many writers' Christmas clichés have been extracted from Christmas songs is a clear demonstration that Christmas has been eating itself, tail first. Have a merry meta-Christmas!

A little too tasteful...

That Christmas has been susceptible to being turned inside out by consumer capitalism should be no surprise: it's in the DNA of the festival. If there is one thing that characterised the success of the Roman Empire – aside from overwhelming military power, which always helps – it was the willingness to co-opt, appropriate, and adapt to local customs and belief systems. You've got a god of spring and rejuvenation? Hey, us too! No point in fighting over it: let's just agree she is now Flora-[your name here], so good we named her twice, OK? What's that, your local elite would like to live in relative luxury? We can help with that! Ever had a hot bath, chief? (aside: Clearly not, by Hercules! What a pong...). And so on. It was a good trick, and far more effective than crucifying anyone who looked like a troublemaker, although that was also a handy policy to have in your back pocket.

So after Rome had been officially Christianised under emperor Constantine, it's no surprise that various elements and traditions of the former Roman belief system were incorporated. I think it's pretty widely acknowledged that the actual birthday of the actual Jesus is completely unknown. So to make it coincide with the Roman festival of Saturnalia and in particular the Dies Natalis Solis Invicti (The birthday of the Unconquered Sun) on December 25th was a shrewd move, not least because most northern societies will have had some sort of celebratory pagan ding-dong around the time of the Winter Solstice. Look, your Holiness, why don't we just rebadge the lot as "Christmas" and own it from now on? Genius!

It's not even clear where Jesus was supposed to have been born, whether in Bethlehem, Nazareth, or somewhere else. The Gospels are not altogether clear on this, despite what dozens of Christmas carols might suggest (yet more Christmas songs spreading more Christmas clichés, deeply, crisply, evenly covered in fake snow). More to the point, it seems to come as news to some that Bethlehem is a real place, and is still there, half-a-dozen miles south of Jerusalem, which is also a real place. It happens to be in the Israeli-occupied West Bank, and mainly populated by Palestinians. For now, anyway. Uh oh! But I will step away from yet another Christmas sermon about what is happening in Gaza and the West Bank, and merely point you at the blog of ex-ambassador Craig Murray for a different perspective on an under-reported aspect of the "conflict".

The main thing I take away from Murray's admittedly parti pris remarks is that "In wars the general percentage of children among those killed varies from 6 to 8%. In Ukraine it is 6%. In Gaza it is 42%." Hmm... Let that sink in. In that other Christmas cliché, it really is all about the children, isn't it?

Hollybrook Cemetery, Southampton

2 comments:

Stephen said...

Thanks for the link to Craig Murray's website Mike.

Hope you have a good Christmas.

Stephen.

Mike C. said...

Stephen,

Craig Murray is well worth reading, although some of his views and conclusions are best taken with a grain or two of salt. The way he has been treated by the law in Scotland is truly disgraceful.

Have a good one, too!

Mike