OMG, when you said let's have a goose for dinner this Christmas, I though you meant to eat, not as a guest... You keep her entertained, and I'd better go and quietly dispose of what has been in the oven for the last few hours... Do you think geese like beans on toast? Because I think that's about all we've got. And hide that pâté somewhere!
What do you mean, animals don't do Christmas? Of course they do. At least they do, down here in Dorset. At midnight, all the cattle in the barn sing, and at dawn all the birds kneel (I think I've got that right). If you, too, do do Christmas, have a great one; if you don't, sorry about all the inconvenience. Normal service will be resumed all too soon.
sotto voce at the door:
Don't worry, babes. I'll sit him in the back with a frisbee
in his hands, and he won't know the difference...
3 comments:
More than once I've been dragged into helping out a delightful, but eccentric, friend Bob with his Christmas geese. From stumbling around his small holding in the dark to gather them in to drowning in a sea of feathers, via dispatching them with the help of a broom handle and dunking them in an old oil drum full of hot water. This year there would only have been 6 geese and he would have totally lost any profit he might have made by giving me one, so I made the excuse that I had already arranged to visit my mother in her new care home in Bingley. I hadn't actually planned to go but to preserve cosmic harmony I did spend the day sorting out stuff in her old house on the other side of the County.
As a minor aside, Bob also has what I suspect is the world's only solar powered Ford Mondeo. He uses a small solar panel to charge the battery and then uses the starter motor to move it about 5m backwards or forwards to block the gate to his field; which is on an isolated stretch of main road and at risk from peripatetic thieves from the West Riding.
Andy,
Reminds me of a long-ago Christmas (1971?) when I earned myself a few quid stretching necks and plucking turkeys in the unheated shed of a local farm. Jesus, what a filthy, cold business... I also got busted for no-hands driving my NSU Quickly moped on the way back. I did still enjoy the Christmas turkey, though, although in my mature years I've come to prefer goose.
Hmm, scope for an "abandoned car" picture there, I feel. Or not so much abandoned, as repurposed.
Mike
Mike
Bob is one of those people for whom no object has no possible future use and he's got a field, a couple of big sheds and plenty of potential construction materials. Apply a few decades of creative construction and a general shuffling about of stuff ../... I'll let you imagine the outcome.
But it has turned out well for wildlife and there's a substantial hedgehog colony established in the collapsed remains of an old caravan; which of course can't now be tidied up.
Andy
Post a Comment