Monday, 5 January 2009

I Nearly Slipped!

South Hampshire awoke to the full horror of at least two millimetres of snow which had fallen in the night. Early morning traffic was proceeding slightly more slowly than normal, and pedestrians had to be really quite careful. "I nearly slipped!" declared a man in an idiotic hat, interviewed by this blog.

"Winter has well and truly arrived," said the Meteorological Office. "The snow may last well into the morning, before a cold drizzle turns it into a vile slush at lunchtime, then a more generalised wetness will persist into the afternoon. Given the coincidence with the mass return to work after the Christmas break, the responsible thing may be to consider calling in sick today."

Said a Christmas industry spokesperson, "If climate change carries on at this rate, the entire Christmas industry is in severe danger. There are children growing up now who have never seen proper snow, never mind reindeer or horse-drawn carriages, and they're simply not going to be stimulated into a Pavlovian buying frenzy by sticking snowflakes all over everything. I suppose rain drops or even palm trees might be an option, but these things take time."

Asked whether the snow presented any danger to the public, Hampshire Police clearly implied that your blogger was wasting their valuable time.

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